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All Local News from the East Parish of Shrikeshire

Wilfred Clompham Grandad of Shrikeshire Health Inspector Abraham Clompham Inspired Ruthlessness

Environmental Health Inspector Accused of Faking Reports To Make Up The Numbers

Lady Makes Millions Selling Bathroom Bum Sponge

Lady Becomes Millionaire Selling Bathroom Bum Sponges

Was The Man Listening To Porn Sat On The Toilet or Snooker Commentary?

Man Arrested For Loud Pornography During Toilet Visit Claims Noise Was Genuine Snooker Commentary

Councillor Tom Gulliver (far left) Believes You Are Not Entitled To Express An Opinion

Nobody Has The Right to Express An Opinion Claims Councillor Tom Gulliver

The Walsham Train To Gransted Was Wrought With Drama When a Man Failed To Give Up His Paid Seat to a Mother

Man Fined £500 For Failing To Give His Paid Train Seat To A Single Mother

Yorkshire's Yellow Hammer Bird Club

Birdwatching Group Apologise For Garden Nudity Invasion Insisting They Were Looking For Shore Larks

Church Bells Ring at 3AM Easter Sunday Morning Waking Belton Tidsea Up

Drunken Church Bell Ringer Wakes Everyone Up At 3AM Easter Sunday

Mobility Scooter Was Clamped For Parking Outside Council Offices

Mobility Scooter Clamped for Using Private Council Parking Space

Shrikeshire Council Are Sending the Bailiffs Around to The Homes of Internet Trolls

Bailiffs Sent After Social Media Trolls Bad Mouthing The County Parish Council

Winner of Rimmingham's Got Talent 2022 Joe Cricket

Winner of Rimmingham’s Got Talent Joe Cricket Booed Off Stage For Crap Jokes At Adult Party

Former Astronaut Gordon Soltana Believes Actors Should Stop Playing Space Heroes

Former Astronaut Claims Actors Playing Fictional Space Heroes Amounts to Vocational Appropriation

Pensioners Back To Work Pilot Scheme in Shrikeshire

Pensioners Back To Work Pilot Scheme Causes Ageism Backlash From Local Businesses

A New Breed of Rat In Shrikeshire Is Stealing Entire Family Dinners

Pest Control Worried About New Breed of Rat Stealing Entire Meals From Families

Mabel's Muffins Bakery in Fumbleton Closed Permanently

Bakery Shut Indefinitely After Uncomfortable Outbreak Of The Runs

A Streaker Invades 3 Weddings and a Shrikeshire funeral

Streaker Arrested For Ruining Three Weddings And A Funeral And We Don’t Mean The Movie

Crazy Ladder Jumping Tik Tok Stunt

Teenagers At Risk Jumping Off Ladders In Bizarre New Social Media Trend Started By A Window Cleaner

Should the term Milkman be replaced with Lactose Deployment Agent?

Local Campaigners Deem Term “Milkman” Offensive Preferring “Lactose Deployment Agents”

Terry Long From Gransted Becomes Lifeguard After It's Pointed Out He Looks like David Hasselhoff

Gransted Man Often Mistaken For David Hasselhoff Becomes Local Lifeguard Hero

Nudist protest sign put up at Angorstock Beach In Shrikeshire

Locals Protesting Against Proposed Nudist Beach Include Elderly Flasher and Senior Citizen Baywatch Team

A Senior Shrikeshire Figure Spending Tax Payers Money Partying

Leaked Documents Name Trusted Councillors Using Council Money to Party Visit Strip Clubs and Pay for Solicitation

Sadie The Golden Labrador and Agatha The Crocodile Are The Best of Friends

Golden Labrador Raises baby Crocodile And They Become Best Friends For Life

Shrikeshire Police Face Drastic Budget Cuts in 2023

Police Forced to Reduce Size Of Uniforms Retire Vehicles And Use Poodles in Drastic Budget Cuts

The Batty Brothers Ethan and Craig Have Been Terrorising Shrikeshire For the Past Five Years

Five Years of Vandalism Terror Ends After Two Teenage Boys Caught Unaware Live On Zoom

Womans Horrific Farts Result in Lifetime Cinema Ban

Woman Given Lifetime Cinema Ban After Horrific Farts Cause Severe and Deadly Reactions

Tim Harrison Creates a Red Cloud in the Family Swimming Pool After Eating Pickled Beetroot

Man Who Denies Urinating in Family Swimming Pool Literally Caught Red Handed After Eating Beetroot

Giant Wasp Torments A Police Car Forcing it Offroad

Giant Wasp Torments Police Car Forcing It Offroad, then Attacks The Emergency Services and Ambulance Crew

Widow Gets Delivery Of Emperor Penguins From Wish Whilst Expecting Penguin Chocolate Biscuits

Shrikeshire Widow Orders 6 Pack of Penguin Chocolate Biscuits From Wish And Ends Up With 6 Emperor Penguins From Antarctica

Anthea Pine Collecting Horse Manure Off The Road To Leave On The Floor of Her Local Co-Op

Four Year Prison Sentence Given To Woman Who Repeatedly Leaves Horse Manure and Dog Muck on Local Shop Floor

Bingo Caller Jimmy Gibson pictured earlier this year, before he decides he will make Vile Sexual Innuendo and Physically Provocative Suggestions at his Weekly Bingo Gig

Gransted Bingo Caller Beaten In Car Park by Pensioners After Disgusting Call for Ball 69

Shrikeshire Mayor Graham Parsnip Addresses His Team

“Vile” Feminist Group Forced to Apologise to Local Mayor After Court Rules He Was Complimenting Their Members On How Fit Their Backsides Are

Priyanka Singh Makes family Vindaloo that Knocks Two Unconscious

Local Curry Expert Makes deadly Vindaloo Knocking Two Family Members Unconscious and a Third Comatose

Former Man Identifies As Bouncy Castle and Crushed by Family of 6

Former Man Who Identifies As Inflatable Bouncy Castle in Critical Condition After Surprise Pub Garden Jumping Assault

Police Show Up To Arrest 5 Year old Boy Telling Gary Delaney Jokes

Riot Police Deal With 5 Year Old Boy Telling Gary Delaney Jokes At Birthday Party

Traffic Warden Gang

Traffic Warden Who Used Own Faeces To Escape Gang Murder Successfully Prosecuted

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