A Huge Fibley Marsh Wasp Torments Police Officers Forcing Them Off The Road, then Attacks and Seriously Injures Emergency Service Workers.
Out for a routine drive, two senior Shrikeshire police officers were surprised when a wasp the size of a small dog, started chasing their police car. Even worse, it was smashing into the side of the vehicle, causing a wheel spin, and the car to end up offroad with an emergency call out to the Ambulance and Fibley Marsh Fire Brigade. The wasp did not stop there. It waited like a predator for more humans to show up to torment.
The ambulance crews and recovery vehicles on the scene were also targets, with paramedics afraid of leaving their vehicle. The wasp decided to hover and torment, and threaten anyone that moved. Unfortunately local Paramedic, and part-time Karaoke entertainer, Johnny Blue chanced a run to the police car, and ended up the first casualty of the day. Sadly the sting was too much, and his injuries proved fatal.
A tougher call to action was made, and the Fire Brigade headed by local Station Chief Frank Gordon, had his men on the scene. But even in their protective gear, and spraying hoses, they ended up 3 men down. Thankfully nobody was stung, but one Fire Officer was smacked unconscious on the road from behind, and another officer got hit right between the legs. If this was a competition, it’s quite clear the wasp was winning!
The circus continued, and Gordon decided to send for the big guns. Calling in a favour to his friend in Angorstock, Fire Chief Dillon Wayne was on the case. Dillon came giving orders and specialising in Wasp misdirection, like something from a Marvel movie. His shit-eating demeanor, meant that the statistics on this wasps domination where about to be given the full 180 degrees.
As far as animal captures go, Chief Wayne was able to play a cat and mouse game of distraction, subduing and given the wasp a false sense up one-upmanship. In what his Fibley Marsh counterpart describes as “a pure Adonis at work”, Wayne expertly “grabbed the bugger by the stinger, and smacked the little bastard twenty times on the tarmac” until the wasp was half asleep. He boxed it up and secured it for examination by local wildlife and nature experts to figure out its origins.
The rescue was then able to go ahead as planned. Thankfully the two Police Officers were given minor medical care for their crash injuries, and everyone apart from Johnny Blue lives to tell the tale of the killer tail. We would appreciate if anyone has any giant wasp sightings to contact us at The Shrikeshire Times, where we will happily send Vera Llellywn-Bone to the scene with a large fly-swatter to investigate.
