A former man identifying as a Bouncy Castle found himself in intensive care after a family of six at the Hobbit and Fuggit Pub Bimblewick, decided they would jump on him at the same time.
A proud “anti-woke” advocate formerly named Amos Martini, decided to turn the tables and demand that folk refer to him as an Inflatable Bouncy Castle, after announcing he fully identifies with one. According to his best mate Ian Flocker, “Amos was just sick of people identifying as things other than what they were born as, so said that’s it, everyone can now refer to him as a bouncy castle. But it backfired when a huge family decided to treat him how he had asked, and jump on him none-stop at the pub which might have been funny at first, but then other families joined in.”
The Humperton family, who hail from Angorstock in Shrikeshire, were unavailable for comment, but we were able to catch their 13 year old son Diggy on his way to school who had this to say “You think it’s funny identifying as a bouncy castle? You want to be called one, and treat like one? We did that. We gave the bouncy castle it’s wishes”. It’s clear Humperton was still very much satisfying Martini’s wishes to be identified as a bouncy castle, by referring to him as such in this interview.
This young adolescence was shaking in his rage and phlegm was flying from this gritted teeth as he added “We all piled on at the same time! He rolled around on the concrete, yelling at first, screaming later. To be fair we took our shoes off first!”
One person not enjoying the show was his best friend. Flocker observed “Me and three of his other besties had enough after the first ten minutes and decided to intervene. We pulled the family off and dragged him in the pub, and called an ambulance. At this point he was unconscious, we’ve got everything crossed he comes out of this.”
Whilst Martini’s condition is said to be critical, it is unknown yet if legal action will be taken. On the matter young Diggy Humperton said “Bring it on. You’ll have to defend why someone who says they’re a bouncy castle is unwilling to be used as one!”
As ever we will probably not update you at all on the situation.
